There Are No Safe Choices
by SouthernkindaTragic
Summary: It was her choice. And it was for the best. - Snippet from 4x01 and a short glance at Scarlett's character.


_Hey guys, I wrote this short drabble way back at the beginning of this season and decided to go back and look at it. It's kind of like and in-character look at a character, I guess. Scarlett's always been the fave, and for a show with some iffy character writing, I connect a lot with her actions and reasoning and find them very human. 4X01 just struck me as a powerful spot to reflect on an aspect of her character a little._

 _It's set before that tiny 30 second clip of her in Beverley's room at the end of the episode where she tells Caleb she loves him. Hope you enjoy!_

 _Nashville is copyrighted to ABC Studios, and I own no rights to it._

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She felt best when she decided something on her own. Choices made her feel strong. Choices made her in control. It had been her choice to move to Nashville with Avery, and now it was truly her home. It had been her choice to get a job at the Bluebird, something that had opened up so many doors for her life. She decided to start writing with Gunnar, and even though it had led her to where they were now, it also gave her a whole new sense of expression and creativity; it was something she wouldn't have done over even with the circumstances.

It was when she just "went with the flow" that bad things started to happen. Signing a solo contract with Rayna, being pushed into the spotlight, desperately trying to be someone she wasn't – they ultimately led her to a horrible time in her life. No, she was better when she had full control of what was happening, when she had the full choice in her decisions. It made her secure. It made her into the best possible version of herself.

Scarlett watched her mother's eyes move under her closed lids, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, a small frown forming on her lips. But what if her choices hurt people? Did they really make her a better person if she hurt the people closest to her? She had chosen many times – too many times – to do things that distanced herself from her mother. She even hated her for periods, and it felt justified after what her childhood living with her had been like. But what about her mother? Her mother didn't have choices either; she never chose to have a mental illness, and Scarlett knew her mother never chose to hurt her when she was in her right mind. So why had Scarlett been so okay with cutting her off? It wasn't fair to her mom, and it couldn't possibly have made her a better person.

And then there was Gunnar, and whatever this was between them now. She didn't regret any of her decisions involving him in her past. Whenever she had hurt him – ending things after his night in jail, rejecting his proposal, not giving into his unacceptable jealousy – it had always been for the best for the both of them… Right?

Being with Gunnar now was different. His unrelenting jealousy had finally lifted, enough that he wasn't throwing insults at Caleb or her whenever either of them breathed, anyway. He finally accepted it enough to respect both of them, although he was still very adamant about his feelings for her. He still wanted her to choose for herself.

But choices with Gunnar never came easy. Maybe it was because he changed his mind so many times it gave her whiplash. Maybe it was because their relationship was just so complicated she couldn't make heads or tails out of it. Maybe it was because of the way he made her feel when they were in the same room together, like she had gotten in a car going fast with no driver, like she was spinning out of control with nothing around to stop the crash. Scarlett didn't know how to think around him anymore, little alone be able to make choices.

So why was she always thinking about him?

She should hate him – for all of the problems he put her through, for all of the stress he'd caused, for making her break the law with Jason, for leading her into the solo contract, for making her seem unimpressed and ungrateful for the amazing Highway 65 deal she would normally be ecstatic over. If she ever had to give up the things that made her the most stressed in her life, Gunnar Scott would be the first to go. But it wasn't hate she felt when they were going over a new melody together, it wasn't even anger, in any form. Looking him in the eyes was like looking into the audience from a spotlighted stage; wild, exciting. Terrifying. Out of control.

But she didn't hate him, and even though she tried to distance herself from him and his problems, she missed talking to him. It was another choice, to cut him off. For the best.

When Caleb walked in, looking impeccably handsome and professional in a starched white coat, she knew what she wanted. He had given her a safe place to come to for months. He gave her a warm, comfortable feeling whenever he smiled, like a soft blanket on a snowy night, fresh cookies out of the oven, walking through the doorway after being away from home for so long. She _was_ in love with him. It was her choice. And it was for the best.

Scarlett left her mother's bedside for a few moments to wrap her arms around Caleb. She held on, hoping this one wasn't one to end in pain.


End file.
